Jeanne takes us deep into the heart of her limiting beliefs. She questions the idea of having wants, needs and desires and how this plays into what we have been taught by society to strive for. She talks about her goals for FIGGI and her struggles in believing she deserves to set high goals and even greater dreams. A short episode about questions we've all asked ourselves, ideas we've all wondered about, and walking through the noise to the other side.
Jeanne takes us deep into the heart of her limiting beliefs. She questions the idea of having wants, needs and desires and how this plays into what we have been taught by society to strive for. She talks about her goals for FIGGI and her struggles in believing she deserves to set high goals and even greater dreams. A short episode about questions we've all asked ourselves, ideas we've all wondered about, and walking through the noise to the other side.
[00:00:00.000] - Jeanne
Did you know that there is a FIGGI blog and that you can comment on the blog posts? I interact with all of the comments. I respond to them all. I love hearing from you. I love your tips. I love your advice, and I love what you share. Be sure to go to figgilife, F-I-G-G-I-L-I-F-E. Com, read the blog posts, scroll to the bottom, and comment on our posts. Hello, FIGGI goddess, and welcome to this episode of the My FIGGI Life Podcast. Today, I'm going to talk about my limiting beliefs and how these have really affected my life's journey. It's really the question of, do I deserve good things? I think it's a deeper question all of us have at least thought about wants in some way or the other. It's so all encompassing. It speaks to desires, wants, needs, and these speak to many other things, which could be spiritual, materialistic, scientific. It's a question that I've really been struggling with. I want to share this journey with you, so stay tuned and I'll see you again soon.
[00:01:11.700] - Intro
Welcome, goddess, to your sacred space. This is My FIGGI Life podcast where we openly discuss life's wins and losses on our journeys to self-discovery. This is your best life. This is your FIGGI Life. And now here is your host, Jeanne.
[00:01:30.820] - Jeanne
We're back, and I'm talking about the question as to whether I deserve good things. Thinking about this and moving it around in my mind. Do I deserve good things? More specifically, do I deserve to want more. I know there are two camps of thought on this. One that dismisses these as silly questions. It's a waste of time because, of course, if you value yourself and your needs, of course, you deserve it. It's almost a non-issue, a weird question to ask. It's relegated to those types of issues in inverted commas that others struggle with that haven't found their path yet. But then there's the other camp, which is my camp, that wrestles with this question on a really deep, deep level. It comes up whenever I have a life change or challenge, when I set a new goal or aim for a higher achievement. There are always these voices from the past and my inner beliefs that have been affected by my journey and what I've been taught and what I've taught myself. It's this constant need to keep everyone around me happy and healthy. This all gets in the way. If you see this in yourself, then welcome my fellow traveler.
[00:02:55.780] - Jeanne
When I first thought about the word deserving, know, when I think about it now, I think I should have paid more attention to that word, to that question of deserving. I was always so low on my own totem pole that I didn't think to even ask that. It was just so far out of my frame of reference. Only a few years ago, when I was introduced to the concept of having limiting beliefs, what limiting beliefs are, I started to pay attention to this and to get curious about it. It opened my eyes to another way of, I wouldn't say seeing it, but another way of questioning it. How can I achieve more and want more if I'm too afraid to even own the fact that I, first of all, deserve it? And second of all, I'm too scared to verbalize I want it. I think it has a lot to do with society and our upbringing and the way that we are taught to interact with the world and what we should bring to the world and give to the world and our responsibility to the world. It's almost like if you talk about being deserving, the one, first of all, do you deserve it?
[00:04:06.260] - Jeanne
And second of all, being too scared to verbalize it, it leaves me at least feeling verbalizing that I want something. The wanting is sinful, right? It's selfish and it's even bad. There are so many, so many with fewer than me, close loved ones that are going through really difficult times. Others said cross your path and they just never seem to get on that path towards being okay. My belief system was built upon the idea that enough is what you should aim for in life. Most importantly, it's all you have the right to want. Anything more than wanting enough is Glutinous and excessive and selfish and wasteful. How do I go about circumventing this ingrained way of thinking toward accepting that I am deserving of good things? How do I define good things if I'm scared to voice my wants? Are wants wrong? Are they right? They must also be wrong too then, right? How do I also go about the wanting culture? It's caused so much destruction. So naturally, I must also fit into this category. The wanting, destructive, bad, sinful, selfish. No, that's not right. Let's take an example. Let me give you an example from my life.
[00:05:42.230] - Jeanne
Let's take FIGGI Beauty as an example. I really, really want desperately FIGGI Beauty to be the biggest name in sensitive skincare. I want to make millions of dollars so I can change the face of mental health on my own terms. This was my biggest challenge in my previous life and in my human rights career. I had all of this knowledge and all of these ideas and all of these proven concepts, but I was always being barred by somebody else's way of doing it, or diplomacy or bureaucracy or the red tape that comes with it, or the internal politics, or what a sponsor felt was available to be sponsored at that time. I don't want that anymore. I know I can make a change. I know how to do it and I know where to start, but I need the money to do it so that I don't have to be reliant on sponsors and donor funds and kindnesses, because if I am, I will always be barred by their politics and restrictions and red tape. I want to do it on my own terms because I know if I can do that, then I only have myself accountable or I only need to hold myself accountable for not achieving the goal and not making it practically effective.
[00:07:01.790] - Jeanne
But then if I listen back to what I've just said, I get almost like this creepy feeling, this uncomfortable feeling underneath my skin. How can I want that? How can I want money of all things? It's the root of everything materialistic. This feels even worse because I come from a service and a humanitarian background. Adding to this the fact that I was raised to understand money has terrible connotations, i. E, selfishness. It doesn't buy happiness. Money isn't everything I can go on. It just makes these wants and desires so much more repugnant. Does wanting not also mean that you are never pleased? You're always wanting. You get A, but now you want B. You have C, but now you're stuck in the wanting of D. So many confusing ways to look at this for a brain like mine that's already so overextended that maybe, just maybe, I can actually deserve good things. I always felt that my right to deserve things solely depended on how good things were going for others. If others are happy and healthy, I deserve to be happy and healthy. Everyone in my life is in a good space and relationship, then okay, it's time for me.
[00:08:24.660] - Jeanne
I deserve that too. I was so busy. I was always so busy, and I still sometimes am so busy worrying about people and things outside of my own needs and control. I never stopped for a second to think how depleted I get or I am or I was. If I'm depleted, I have nothing to give. I've no encouragement to bestow on somebody. I have no money to lean to other people. I have no job to offer those in need. This is really a new stage of growth for me. I'm slowly working towards hopefully understanding it, mastering it. It's been a difficult concept to wrap my mind around, and it really leaves me full of guilt a lot of times. However, I think I've decided that I'm putting myself into the role of leading lady of my own life. Thank you so much, Kate Winslet. Whatever that may look like, I don't know what that looks like. It would just be nice to have a director calling the scenes and shots when I inevitably start doubting my value and deservedness again. But I'm willing to take these steps forward and to really concentrate on this journey of growth and where it takes me and where I end up.
[00:09:36.870] - Jeanne
When I started retracing my steps, I was so shocked to see how many limiting beliefs I have and how deeply deeply these influence my life and my career. I've always given without exception. I've helped wherever I could, and I've given when I had nothing left sometimes, but this suited me, which is a significant reason why I was in human rights for a long time. But where does that leave me if I'm constantly building my own goals on the happiness of others? After a lot of personal reflection on this and considering the whys of it all, I realized that I sincerely believed I would somehow be taking away happiness from others if I was happy. Almost like it was, there's only a certain amount of happiness to go around, and if I take it all for myself, I'm taking it away from somebody else. Looking at those around me and realizing that they were not in a happy space, it made it worse. How can I be happy if someone else is suffering? Underneath all this is the fear of wanting more because you are afraid it will be taking away from you. What does this all come down to for me?
[00:10:43.360] - Jeanne
Living my life in the wanting and the waiting, letting life pass me by as I sit on the sidelines, rooting for others. Well, I haphazardly slap some attention on my needs when they throw a tempered antithesis. Only a little, though, just enough attention to get them to shut up for another few months. Self-doubt. Self-doubt. A deep need to do things the right way and make a real difference. It all contributes to the conundrum of being deserving. I deserve to have dreams, clear goals, and wants. Now, if only my soul would get on board with this message. It's such an essential thing, right? Goals, wants, needs, desires. Can be so complicated, and and unattainable once the conscience gets involved. The nature of business is profit. The nature of helping and giving is the funds to make it happen. The nature of happiness is being at peace with self. How can this all be so complicated? I honestly have no wisdom to give in this episode. It really is just a take on how I see this conversation and what the content of this conversation is that I am currently having with myself and that I'm working through and wading through.
[00:12:02.330] - Jeanne
I would really love to hear from you. Do you have limiting beliefs or did you have? How did you reshape them for yourself? Have you found yourself in this position before? How did you manage to take that step towards the next phase? I love any personal stories that you can share with me, any tips, any guidance that can help me on my journey. Please reach out to me on Instagram via DM. You can find me at jeanne_figgilife. Send me a message from the figgil ife. Com website, comment on one of the blog posts. I'd love to hear from you, and I'd love to see where this conversation takes you. Thank you so much for listening to this and for hopefully finding some kindredness in it. I will see you next time on the MyFIGGILife podcast. But until then, please remember, and this sounds so ironic for this episode, I realize that everyone deserves to celebrate the goddess within because we are deserving, right? We are. Have a wonderful week. The MyFIGGILife podcast is free to all of our listeners. It's not sponsored, and I would like to try to keep advertorials out of our episodes. It helps me so much when you support this podcast by sharing it with a friend who may need to hear some of these episodes or who may benefit from it.
[00:13:34.660] - Jeanne
But mostly, it helps us so much if you rate and review this podcast on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Thank you so much for your support, Vicky Goddess.